Back to School
by The Mystic Alchemist
Summary: Due to Ed's lack of literacy skills the furor decides to send him back to school. What awaits him at Ouran Academy?
1. That Poor Door

Chapter 1: The Mission

Description: Due to Ed's lack of literacy skills the furor decides to send him back to school. What awaits him at Ouran Academy?

* * *

"Major Edward Elric, Sir!", The young private who had just walked up to Ed saluted.

Ed looked up at the man with slight disappointment that he not as tall as this nervous looking soldier.

"Yeah that's me," he grumbled with a scowl, "What do you want?". Ed was currently in the mess hall of Central HQ enjoying a nice bowl of curry, and he did not like being interrupted while eating.

"S-sir, Colonel M-mustang wanted to s-see you," this young man with impressive soldierly form stuttered this proclamation. Edward came to the conclusion that this was yet another soldier in the military who becomes excessively nervous in the presence of 'The Great Edward Elric'.

Ed's scowl deepened. The fact that he now had to go see Colonel Bastard did not help his mood either.

"Fine," He quickly shoveled the remainder of his food in his mouth before standing from his seat and stretching, "Thank you for delivering the message." The young blond waltzed out of the mess hall mentally reminding himself that he still had to meet Al at the library afterwards.

He soon arrived at Mustang's office. He kicked open the doors in his usual flamboyant manner before stalking over to Mustang's desk.

Colonel Mustang peered over is clasped hands, probably to hide a smirk, at Ed, "I'm glad to see that you still have no consideration for the welfare of my door, Fullmetal."

"Glad to see you fixed it from last time, _Flame_." he taunted.

Roy shot him a warning glare before reaching into his desk drawer for some papers, "No matter," he plopped the file of papers onto the desk in front of Ed, "The Fuhrer wanted me to inform you that despite your obviously impressive knowledge in alchemy and maths, he finds your education somewhat lacking."

"You've got to be kidding." Ed deadpanned. "I'm a child prodigy for Truth's sake!" He threw up his and in the air theatrically.

Mustang began rubbing the bridge of is nose in irritation. "You're not the one who has to go through your reports Fullmetal."

"My reports are fine! I might not have the greatest spelling or grammar but they get the point across."

"Calm down Fullmetal," Roy drawled, ' _Here comes the bad news…'_

"The Fuhrer only wants you to complete your secondary school education. He has already taken the liberty of getting you enrolled in one of the most prestigious schools in-"

"HE WHAT!? I HAVE TO-!?" Ed exploded in frustration, "NO! Absolutely NOT! I will NOT go to some fancy school with people _my age!"_ he said the last sentence more with disgust than anger.

"Fullmetal."

"Do you have ANY idea how STUPID regular people my age are?!"

" _Fullmetal._ "

"And what about Al huh?! I promised I'd get his body back! You CAN'T expect me to just up and LEAVE!? And what abo-"

"FULLMETAL!" Mustang boomed.

Ed finally stopped his rant – not without a scowl though – and stood there waiting for _some_ sort of explanation that would prove satisfactory.

With a sigh the colonel continued, "I understand your frustration but you don't have much of a say in the matter."

* * *

A/N: This I started forever ago and literally just finished it in my art class because I forgot my art... heh. I hope this will turn out nicely I pretty much have it planned out. So ya there you go. Also I apologize for not updating my other story "To Save Them All" yet. I _am_ working on it and I'll hopefully post it soon.

As usual please follow, favourite, and review! Thank you my pretties! Peace out!


	2. MONEY

Chapter 2: MONEY

Description: Due to Ed's lack of literacy skills the furor decides to send him back to school. What awaits him at Ouran Academy?

A/N: Wow! I legit was not expecting for such good response to this fic! I seriously was not expecting anyone to like this XD anyways thank you so much to everyone who reviewed, favourited, followed, all that jazz. So just to let you know I'm kind of being lazy with this fic so don't expect some great plot to it or anything and expect there to be plot holes. Like how I'm conveniently not giving an explanation on the different languages. Heh heh. Maybe I'll figure something out later. If you have ideas let me know! Actually if you have any sort of suggestions let me know, I'd love some feedback. Sorry for the long note! On with the story!

* * *

Breaking the news of Ed's departure to Al went a little something like this:

"... And so I have to go to some fancy shmancy school in some country called Japan!"

"..."

"Can you believe this?"

"..."

"I have to be near people our age!"

"..."

"I'll be surrounded by idiots!"

Edward then promptly sprouted a nice new bump on his head. After they both calmed down a bit Al expressed very eloquently that he was upset that Ed had to leave and that he would miss his brother very much.

"Well brother your writing skills are pretty bad. And it's only for one school year. We'll be back to searching for the stone in no time!"

He then told Ed to hurry back so he wouldn't have to suffer of boredom for too long.

"Don't worry about me while you're gone! I'll stay with the Hughes'. You just go and have fun! Try to make some friends at school too brother."

Their conversation seemed to have gone through some sort of filter in Ed's brain the entire time. Poor Alphonse had no idea that what he said and what Ed heard were two very different things. But no matter! Soon the great Edward Elric would be reduced to a simple highschooler trying to make his way through the social hoops of youth.

* * *

Edward liked travelling. He very much enjoyed a nice relaxing train ride where he could simply sleep and read. But boat rides he most definitely did not enjoy. Taking the boat from the coast of Xing to Japan wasn't nearly as long as it felt to Edward who spent the entire time either in the rancid smelling washrooms retching into a toilet or leaning over the railing of the boat limply. Needless to say once the boat docked the small blond was the first one off.

"Excuse me sir," someone tapped Ed on his shoulder snapping him from his focused breathing, "Are you Mr. Edward Elric? I'm to be your chauffeur during your stay in Japan."

Ed looked the man up and down warily. He considered the man before him and read the telegram offered to him. It was authentication from the Fuhrer meaning that it was safe for Ed to trust this man, now identified as 'Mr. Raymond'. Finally Ed straightened up and asked, "So do you have a nice car?"

Mr. Raymond smiled and led Edward to a sleek black Lincoln Town Car Limousine. Ed gaped at the much more sleek and modern car than what he was used to back in Amestris.

Mr. Ray (as Ed had started calling him) dropped him off in front of a nice hotel with instructions on how to get the key to his room and something called a cell phone to use to contact him if need be. It was a pretty standard room with a queen sized bed, tv, and small bathroom. Another telegram from the furor was waiting on the nightstand. Ed wondered why Bradley couldn't have just told him all this stuff before he left.

 _Major Edward Elric The Fullmetal Alchemist,_

 _Welcome to Japan. Your driver will have told you that your schooling starts in two days time. Tomorrow you will be taken to the school to meet the principal who has been informed of your situation and status. She will arrange everything you need at the academy including a private dorm room._

 _For your safety no one but your driver and the principal should know of your position in the Amestrian military._

 _I trust you will be capable of keeping your secret and staying out of trouble._

 _Good luck Fullmetal._

 _,Fuhrer King Bradley_

Edward sighed and flopped onto his bed snoring in seconds.

* * *

Ed was rudely awoken by the ringing of his new cell phone device. He belatedly realized that Mr. Ray was calling because he was going to be late for his meeting with the principal of his new school. Quickly rearranging his clothes that he was still wearing from the night before and splashing his face with water he grabbed his luggage put on his boots once again and sped out of his room to the lobby. Mr. Ray was waiting patiently, looking very smart in his simple black suit and tie. He was tall and slender with an angular face and neatly combed black hair. Mr. Ray was the type of person you could easily overlook in a crowd but would never lose sight of once you spotted him.

They drove fast but carefully through town making their way to an extremely large campus in a wealthy looking part of town. They both marvelled at the grand distinctly European style buildings. Mr. Ray waited in the car while Ed went into the main building.

As soon as Ed took one step inside the building he was immediately lost. The building was even fancier on the inside. It had high swooping arched ceilings, gold trimming, crystal chandeliers, the entire thing just screamed 'MONEY!'. Ed shrunk where he stood (if it's possible for him to become even smaller) he knew he did not belong here. What was the Fuhrer thinking? Just then a young girl in a yellow dress walked up to him.

"Hello. Are you new here?" She smiled politely but Ed could tell she was judging him. He couldn't blame her though. He was very out of place in his gaudy red and black day old clothes. He probably smelled like train, boat, and possibly puke.

"Yeah I'm looking for the principal's office." He silently added to himself that the principal probably had an entire floor based on the size of this place.

"Ah! Of course! I just passed it. Follow me, I'll show you where it is," the girl spun on her heel whipping her long brown hair and started walking back the way she had come. Ed followed her through a hallway, up some grand stairs, through another hallway, and through a pair of large mahogany doors into what looked to be a reception room that belonged in a palace. The girl motioned to the desk in the centre of the room and spun once again leaving Ed alone with the receptionist.

"Hey, um… I'm here to see the principal?" It was more of a question than anything really. Ed felt very insignificant is this gigantic building. His usually outgoing and often rude personality was replaced by some timidness that was incredibly un-Ed like.

"About?" The receptionist asked succinctly peering over her rectangular glasses.

"I'm supposed to be starting school here. My name's Edward Elric," he replied.

"Ah yes. Mrs. Akiyama has been expecting you. You can go right in," she pointed to another set of doors to her left. After a final glance to the receptionist, who was now back to some sort of paperwork, Edward purposefully relaxed himself into his careless sort of stance and sauntered through the doors to where an interesting new chapter of his life begins.

* * *

A/N: This is what I mean by lazy. It's not meant to be any sort of cliffhanger I'm just lazy and decided to stop here because I need to do the dishes now. I hope you like it so far! Press all them buttons that give me notifications and make this more popular k thanks bye! 3


	3. This is Too Easy!

Back to School

Chapter 3: This is too easy!

Description: Due to Ed's lack of literacy skills the fuhrer decides to send him back to school. What awaits him at Ouran Academy?

A/N: I'm sorry! I haven't worked on any of my fics for sooooo long! But never fear! I am back! (Psh we'll see how long that'll last) And I will write this story! Anywayyyysss… here's the next chapter at long last!

P.S. Just an FYI, Ed is 15 in this fic and is based on the Brotherhood/manga verse.

* * *

Edward walked into the large office and mentally made a point of ignoring the lavish decor in the room as he looked over to where a sharp looking woman was sitting at a desk bent over some papers. The nameplate on the desk read "Principal Kazumi Akiyama". Ed strode forward and cleared his throat to get the principal's attention.

"Oh! You must be Mr. Elric!" Her head snapped up from the papers at the announcement of Ed's presence. "Pardon me Major I didn't hear you come in. Please take a seat," she motioned to one of the plush antique armchairs in front of her desk. Edward gladly took the offered chair and set down his suitcase beside him.

"Just Edward is fine. I'm not a big fan of formalities."

"Mr. Elric," she smiled. "You'll find that formalities are necessary at our prestigious school. Only the wealthiest and most gifted are able to attend Ouran Academy. We have a reputation to uphold."

Edward was mentally rolling his eyes. ' _Great! They're all stuck up snobs,'_ he thought.

Without pause Mrs. Akiyama continued, "Here I have a package for you which includes a map of the school, keys to your dorm room, and your schedule."

"My schedule? But I haven't picked any classes yet," Ed had only been informed of his "assignment" to school a few days ago. How long had they been organizing this?

"Yes. Your superior officer called to organize your courses. I was told it is mandatory for you to attend an English class. You will be in the Class 1A English homeroom. And as I understand it you are considered a prodigy in the sciences. So you will also be attending the Year 3 Advanced Chemistry and Advanced Mathematics classes. Your superior also selected a basic etiquette course that he thought you might enjoy as…" she trailed off when she saw Edward's face. He was gritting his teeth and had a look of murder in his molten eyes. ' _I'll get you for this Colonel Bastard!'_

"Is there a problem Mr. Elric?" She inquired calmly, unfazed by Edwards death glare.

"Oh no not at all!" He laughed sheepishly before returning to muttering threats under his breath. But the principal just took it in stride and continued on.

"You will find your uniform in your dorm as well as anything else you might need. Tomorrow you will start your lessons. School officially started a few weeks ago so you will have some catching up to do. If there is anything you need please feel free to go to the Student Assistance Department."

Finally finished her administrative spiel she handed the package to Ed and showed him out the door of her office. Finally glad that that was taken care of he walked out into the main hallways once again and looked at the map of the school. His eyes bugged out when he realized just how huge the Ouran campus was. There were so many buildings! And inside each building so many rooms and hallways! The main building alone was bigger than Central headquarters! He would never be able to find his way around! With a sigh he slouched defeated. It was going to be a long school term.

* * *

Ed woke up to the sound of his alarm clock and rubbed his eyes tiredly. He had been up late doing research on Japanese culture and history. He was baffled by the impressive technology that the country had developed. It was much more advanced than amestris yet they didn't have things like Alchemy and automail. From what he read they were entirely unaware that such things existed. He would have to be careful otherwise people may fear him and what he can do. Though that might not be so horrible he thought mischievously.

After taking a quick shower and brushing his teeth he glared at the painfully pastel uniform that was hanging in his dorm closet. He retched at the thought of wearing such a monstrosity and instead put on his regular black clothes and red coat emblazoned with the Flamel cross. He slipped on his white gloves and put his pocket watch, his schedule, and his cellphone into his pockets. Stepping into the dorm hallway he sighed heavily. Today was going to be a long day.

* * *

Edward arrived at his first class flustered and out of breath. He had gotten completely lost on the vast campus and had been running around like a beheaded chicken trying to get to his first class before he was late. He failed of course and was 10 minutes late.

"Ah you must be the new student. You're late." The teacher stated in a not so friendly way.

"Heh sorry about that I got lost! This place is massive!" He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

The teacher eyed him up and down distastefully. "Where is your uniform?"

"I'm not a fan of it so I'll just be wearing this." He grinned and waltzed into the room looking around. He was met with the shocked faces of the students. He looked to the teacher who was raising an eyebrow.

"You were given a uniform were you not?" She asked slowly losing patience.

"Yeah but I prefer to wear my own clothes." He shrugged.

The teacher frowned at him. "You are expected to dress appropriately. This is a prestigious school and the students are held to high standards. If you are not wearing your uniform tomorrow you will be given detention."

He simply waved off the threat and asked where he's supposed to sit. Her anger slowly rising the teacher pointed to an empty desk at the back of the room and let out a sigh as the blond boy walked over to it and sat down.

"Everyone please welcome Mr. Edward Elric our new transfer student." She stated massaging her temples in an attempt to calm her temper.

"I am Ms. Tanaka the English teacher." This she directed at Edward who was lazing back in his seat. With a sigh she turned back to the chalkboard where the assignment for today was written out. She called up a student sitting in the front to pass out worksheets.

"Psst." The redheaded boy to his left tried to get his attention. He ignored the attempt not wanting to interact with any of the idiotic teenagers around him. Ed was determined to go the whole year without making any friends.

"Psst!" The boy was more insistent this time, "You better listen and wear your uniform next time. We've gotten detention a lot for wearing our regular clothes and costumes to class!" He laughed.

An identical boy sitting left of the first that spoke continued, "We even got a week once for wearing bloody zombie costumes!" The two boys laughed together. Still Ed ignored them accepting the sheet of paper that was handed to him.

"Elric right?" The first spoke again, "I've never heard the name before… where are you from? I'm Hikaru and this is Kaoru. Hitachiin." The two boys smiled at him expectantly.

After glancing over the worksheet Ed sighed in frustration over the fact that he did not know the answers to any of the basic grammar questions. He hated the fact that the fuhrer and Mustang might have been right about him needing more of an education.

Edward glanced over to the staring twins, huffed, and went back to ignoring them in favour of glaring at his worksheet. Forget about a long day. It was going to be a long year.

* * *

Edward had barely escaped the pestering twins and finally arrived at his next class: 3A Advanced Chemistry. He was excited to get back to doing what he loves. It may not be alchemy but it's close enough.

After going through the whole uniform thing again he sat down at a chemistry station at the back of the room as instructed by the teacher Mr. Nakamura. Students continued to filter in and take their seats as Mr. Nakamura began writing on the blackboard. A young blond boy and a tall black haired boy walked in together and sat at the station in front of him. Ed was surprised that he wasn't the only younger student in the advanced third year class. Though this kid looked so young he ought to be in middle school still. Perhaps he wasn't the only prodigy in the school.

His train of thought was interrupted by a brown haired boy with glasses sitting next to him and the teacher calling the class to attention. The student sharing his station introduced himself and took out his notebook. Ed rolled his eyes. He didn't need to take notes he already knew everything that would be taught in this class. He was the great Fullmetal Alchemist Hero of the People after all! He snickered under his breath.

"Mr. Elric is there something you find funny?" Ed looked up at the teacher's question in confusion. Without waiting for a reply Mr. Nakamura pointed at the board and asked, "Maybe you could tell me the answer to this problem then?"

The young prodigy looked past the staring students at the problem on the chalkboard. It was a simple alchemic equation, or perhaps he should call it a chemical equation.

"Tsk. This is too easy. Iodide ion and polythionate ion." He rolled his eyes and hoped the class would get more difficult.

"Very good Mr. Elric." Mr. Nakamura turned and wrote the answer on the board. "Now can you give me the molecular structure?"

Edward barely had to think for more than a second before giving the answer. The students murmured in wonder at the speed of his answer but the teacher gave no indication of being impressed.

"Correct." He wrote the answer on the board again. "Now everyone please complete the worksheet and read chapter 5 in the textbooks."

Edward sighed at the worksheet he was handed and completed it in what must have been record time. He was in his element.

* * *

Finally the lunch bell rang and he put away the textbook. He had already gotten through 10 chapters of the textbook and was disappointed in most of the upcoming lessons. Though there were a few topics he was looking forward to debating about with the teacher.

Edward followed the map to the cafeteria; he only got lost twice this time! He went to line up with everyone else to get food and his jaw dropped when he saw the menu.

"Lobster? Prime rib? Soufflé? Man these people are pretentious!"

The selection was small but it seemed like it changed every day. Though he was sure every day the dishes would be just as expensive and pretentious. When it was his turn to order he tried to find something simple that wouldn't make him sick to his stomach. Luckily they had a ramen dish and he figured it couldn't be too crazy fancy. But he still made sure to specify that he wanted it super simple and NOT fancy.

"Name?" The lunch lady asked while typing the order into the computer.

"Edward Elric." He responded with an eyebrow raised.

"Oh it seems your meals are all already paid for." Ed rolled his eyes. He had enough money of his own to pay for his food. He didn't need to be coddled and given things for free.

When he was handed his food he wrinkled his nose at it. They obviously hadn't listened when he said he wanted it not fancy. He sat down at a table and pouted. He was so hungry but he wasn't interested in the weird things they put on top of the ramen. His belly rumbled longing for some pork curry from Central HQ. He decided he would bring his own lunches from now on. Pushing the ruined dish away from him he slumped in his seat and closed his eyes defeatedly.

"Do you not like it?" A sweet voice asked from down the table.

Ed opened one eye to see who has spoken. It was a blue eyed girl with brown hair who looked to be his age. She was smiling sweetly at him with her head tilted curiously.

"I asked for them to make it not fancy…" he grumbled giving the offending food another glare.

"Would you like some of mine?" She simpered sliding into the seat across from him and displaying her homemade lunch to him. "My family's cook made me my favourites but I don't mind sharing."

Her eyelashes fluttered and Edward looked at the food hungrily. It was still fancier than he was used to but looked a lot more appetizing than the pretentious ramen.

"Maybe just a little bit…" he licked his lips in anticipation. The girl giggled happily and placed a couple egg rolls and a couple sausages on a napkin before sliding in front of Ed. He dug in hungrily and his eyes sparkled with satisfaction. He was still hungry but a little bit of food was better than nothing.

"Thank you!" He beamed at the girl.

"You're very welcome!" She replied with a grin. "I'm Hana Saito. You're the new transfer student right?"

Edward hesitated, "Yeah I'm Ed…" he now realized he'd gotten caught in a conversation.

"I'm pleased to meet you Ed!" She blushed lightly and Ed raised an eyebrow. "Where are you from?"

"Uh… Amestris." He replied.

"Wow! I've never met anyone from Amestris before!" He leaned forward in her seat and fluttered her eyelashes again.

It finally dawned on Ed. She was flirting.

"Oh! Haha! Cool! You know. Actually. I just remembered I have to go. There's something I have to do. Um… in the library! Yeah I've got to go to the library!" He fumbled out of his seat in a hurry his face quickly getting redder.

"Uh thank you for the food though! Heh… bye!" He hurried out of the cafeteria faster than was probably polite leaving the girl confused. Edward was not interested in making friends and he _certainly_ wasn't interested in having a girlfriend! He shuddered at the thought and rushed off to where his next class would be. Poor Ed was oblivious to the girls watching and whispering to each other excitedly as he passed by.

* * *

A/N: So funny story… I think I had a plan where this story would go before but it's been so long since I worked on it I don't remember heh heh. So I think this is going to end up being mostly fluff and fun but I may try to think of a proper plot eventually. I haven't decided.

Oof it's been so long since I did any writing. This chapter really may be terrible I have no idea. I wrote the second half like I don't even know probably years after writing the first half. The style might be entirely different I can't even tell. Welp. Let me know if it's weird, let me know if it's terrible, let me know if it's good, and please let me know if you want me to continue reviews are very motivating. Anyways see you in the next chapter! (Whenever that may be heh heh heh…)


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